I wrote this poem years ago, but its words still touch my heart. I have only ever shared it with a limited audience, for fear of it being silly or clumsy or misunderstood. In my pursuit of living a more creative life now, however, I am choosing to share my creative efforts with no thought of the reception it may or may not receive.
So without further ado, here is the old poem I found buried in the heap of my creative past.
I remember as a child sitting in the backseat with a story being read to me, about a girl all alone in the jungle who was afraid.
Just like me.
Well, not exactly–I mean I grew up in suburbia and for a while backwoods country.
But God, it seemed like life was like that scary jungle scene; where every corner, every branch held uncertainty, like something was going to happen, like something was going to hurt me.
But the girl in that story said something that stuck out to me, repeating ever so softly,
“God is with me, always with me. I am safe, always safe.”
And it was in the backseat of that car on that warm summer’s night, driving from Seattle on that stretch of 405, that I came to a conclusion in my childish mind, that if I just spoke those trusting words, everything would be just fine.
Though over time, I found these words to be only half-right.
God is with me, He’s always with me. but I am not always so safe.
Does this mean He loves me less?
Does this mean He’s forgotten me?
Somehow we’ve come to believe that following that still small voice gives us some sort of invincibility, a special protection, that if it’s His will, things will work out perfectly.
But if that’s the case, why hasn’t that come through for me?
If that’s how God works, then why are my brothers and sisters suffering for advancing a kingdom He’s building?
Yet when I flip through the pages of that old book that still breathes life, I see God has never been too concerned with us leading safe, comfortable, predictable lives.
But I still don’t pretend to understand why You allow certain things to happen, and I can’t help but ask so many questions.
There’s really no resolve here, but to keep trusting in You; for perhaps the body You do not always keep so safe, but as for my soul You always do. And I can rest knowing that no matter the circumstance, You bring about Your redemptive plan.
You promise to wipe every tear from our eyes?
Okay then, I’ll let them fall freely so I have nothing to hide, for I know one day all wrongs will be made right, and we will finally see the “whys” behind this life.
But maybe by then we won’t need the answers, as to why our loved ones died of cancer, or why our sons and daughters are bought and sold like they don’t matter.
All I can say for now, is that I’ll keep listening for Your voice to break through my clouds.